A Checklist Relationship

1 Thessalonions 5:16-18: Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstance; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 

We don't allot twenty or thirty minutes a piece to each of our friends do we? We don't call them up every day (maybe less than that) and blab to them for 45 minutes exactly and then promptly hang up the phone, not even giving them time to speak. 

Just look at your earthly relationships. None of them are cookie-cutter, perfectly-timed-out relationships. They don't have schedules (at least to a tee). They aren't portioned out minute by minute. They're just wholesome relationships. The kind that whenever a friend or family member is around or needs you, you're there for them. You talk to them, spend time with them, do favors for them, etc. And they do the same for you.

Now I realize not every relationship is this nice, but in general, looking at how you act with your friends, family, close peers --the people you care about on earth-- saying your time together is meticulously planned out every time is inaccurate. 

So then, if we don't do this in our earthly relationships... Why do we form this "Checklist Relationship" with our God? Our Heavenly Father, the one who created us in his image.

We sit down every morning, read an allotted amount of chapters in the Bible, then pray for, oh let's say 30 minutes. Phew! You're done! No need to think about God for the rest of the day. Wow I'm such a good Christian! *checks "read devotions" off the to-do list and goes on*

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to condemn anyone here. I am just as guilty of doing this as anybody. I am trying to read through the Bible in a year, and I'm constantly having to remind myself: "Isaac, this isn't just a book to read through in a year. It's not just a goal. This book is practically a personal letter, written for you, from God. Stop rushing it. Calm yourself, and try to soak it in." 

I also realize that every single minute of every single day can't be spent in devotions, prayer, and singing praises. It's not humanly possible. But every time you have the chance, say a little prayer in your head or hum a praise song. And yes, having a devotion time every day is so important, just don't turn it into a checklist thing. Try to learn something every time you open the Bible, or more accurately, ask God to help you understand more every time you read his word. 

As some of you know, I've been planting a garden this year. It has been a lot of work, but it has also given me a lot of time by myself. And instead of defiling that alone time that I so desperately crave, I've been trying to use it to engage in my relationship with Him. Praying, singing to myself, meditating on a passage I read recently. See, it doesn't have to be this full-out, hands and knees on the ground worship time. Just spending time with Him, learning more about Him, talking to Him and letting Him speak to you. 

I'm not trying to preach to you. If you've found a way to build your relationship with Christ then by all means do that! But I will say, those times when you're alone (working in the garden, driving down the road, before you go to sleep and after you wake up, those quiet hours in the morning with your coffee) are some of the best times to learn more about Him and about yourself.

I feel like I need to sum up my babbling after every post so here it is: Don't fall into the rut of checking Christ off of your to-do list. Crave a strong, full relationship with Him, and spend as much time as you can praying and meditating. Form that wholesome bond with Christ, not a checklist relationship. 

~Isaac

Anxiety.

"Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you" ~ 1 Peter 5:7 NIV

A verse that has helped me through some... difficult (for lack of a better word) times. You see, nervousness is a natural human feeling. It's our instinct to feel nervous when we're doing something that could be a danger. It also seems to give us an edge while on stage or doing a test. Don't ask me how, but it does.

Now, take that slight nervousness, magnify it by what seems like a trillion, and voila you have anxiety. This word seems to be used so much nowadays that I don't think people scope how serious it really is.

When I was younger I was always a pretty nervous kid. Slight things would tip me off and I would box myself in. Try not to worry. Freak out on the inside. And not show a thing on the outside. I remember one time, there was this pet expo (and as you already are probably aware, I love animals) in a nearby city that I begged and begged to go to. I was able to go but after being there a while, I desperately wanted to go home. I couldn't take it. So many people, having to interact with so many of them as well. It freaked me out. This may sound a little dramatic but just hear me out.

Over time this anxiety got worse and worse, and I shoved it deep inside me, didn't let anyone in, and made it a lot harder on myself. And through doing this I learned how to keep a straight face. I never had any full-fledged panic attacks, so keeping stuff hidden was easy.

My heart starts pounding. Mind is racing. Palms go sweaty. I'm looking for anything and everything to get my mind to calm down. Writing. Watching a movie. Working with my animals. I can't sleep, so now I'm exhausted. Every single possible outcome of a situation runs through my head so fast I can barely process them but somehow I have a plan for every single thing that happens. I'll say this, do this, if this goes wrong I'll play it off like I meant to do it that way. Tears rarely well up, because I've trained them not to, but they feel like it. My stomach will start to ache and churn as if the "cute little butterflies" have turned into something trying to claw it's way out. I dread everything, enjoy nothing, and feel desperate to get away. All this happens at once. Inside. No one knows.

If I do show any signs of anxiety, you may catch me biting my nails, chewing the inside of my cheek or picking my lip. Cracking my knuckles, wrists, neck and any other joint I can manage to crack again for the 12th time that day. I'll fidget in my seat, changing positions. Fiddling with something like my hair, clothes, a pen.

But at the end of the day, there's only one way to truly calm down. And that's exactly what Peter was saying in that one short verse up there. Those 11 words are the difference between having another sleepless night and actually getting some rest for a change. The difference between staying at home or going out. The difference between showing people who I truly am inside or placing up another wall, after 15 years of doing so (oh yeah... my birthday was a week and a half ago :P).

Now, I don't mean mumbling to yourself a little "Give me what I want" prayer. I mean truly, and genuinely giving God all you have. Knocking down those walls that you've placed up, built up even to the God who sees all. Casting all your fears, anxieties, troubles, pains, worries, guilts, sorrows, the list goes on, to him! I know that on my own this anxiety disorder will never go away. But with his power it can. That doesn't mean he will, because this may be a trial he wants me to face in this life to bring me closer to him, and I've come to accept that, but since I've given this all to him (and opened up to others about it) it sure has gotten a lot better, and for me, that's proof enough of his power!

~Isaac

Happy New Years!

Hello to all of you! Thanks for returning to my blog once more. It is January 1st, start of a new year, 2017. How exciting! Seeing as to how 2016 went, I pray and hope this year turns out better. Sure, lots of good stuff happened last year, also lots of bad.

Anyways, I hope we can all learn from our mistakes in 2016 and happily say goodbye to the year.

Now I would like to set my attention to this upcoming year. As you know from my introductional post, I mime. I am part of a Christian mime discipleship group, and I love it. I have grown so much but now am at a period with this group that I find particularly hard.

Us older mimes were given an assignment back in October that is to create a mime that tells our testimony. I might make a post about the direction I want to take with this mime, but that's for another time. When I first heard this assignment my stomach just turned to lead and I was legit freaked out. I had no clue what to do. Fast forward to now and I have some planned out... not enough though I'm afraid. This assignment has caused me so much stress for the past two months and I don't even know why... well, I didn't know why until today.

For the past week or two I had come to the conclusion that I didn't want to do this and that I just wouldn't do it. If it got me kicked off the team so be it (yes, that is how much I dislike this assignment) Then, our pastor preached a sermon today that went right along with what I've been thinking about and dealing with recently (isn't it funny how God works that way?). His sermon was basically about how if God is in a church, it cannot be dead. If He is working in that church then He has plans for it. Same with us Christians.

God always has a plan for us and sometimes, we're not going to like it, especially if we're stubborn, which I am. I realized today that I haven't been letting God lead me in this project and because of it, let my anxiety and stubbornness get in the way.

This post is getting too long, so let me sum up all of this rambling. My goal for these next few months is to let God take control and help me plan this mime. If it makes me uncomfortable or nervous or embarrassed so be it. I've been stubborn for much too long about giving this part of my life to Him and what better time to start besides now?

Happy New Years, you guys!

Oh no! Politics!

Run, hide while you still can, because I am about to talk about... well politics... but not exactly. I'm going to TRY to keep this post as short as can be. I know, I know, it's been two weeks since Election Day, but I just now felt like writing this. Ah, November 8th, 2016 was a big day. Probably a day that will change our upcoming few years... quite drastically. Whether you believe it will be a change for the good or for the bad depends on your political views. Let's not get into all that. I don't want this post to be about who's wrong and who's right because that causes division and we have enough of that as it is right now.

So let's back track to Election Day. I am not going to elaborate on who I wanted president etc. etc. But to be honest, neither were very good choices. I had somewhat (as much as a person can :P) prepared myself for Hillary to win, because I believed she would. So when I saw so many states light up red, I have to say I was surprised. So Trump wins, his supporters are happy, her supporters protest, you all know what happened, I don't need to go into that. 

The point I wanted to make in this post is this: I have to admit, I am a little (more than a little) scared for the upcoming years. I would have been scared with her too, but Trump scares me just as much. However in the grand scheme of things, how much does this really matter? We have a new president for the next 4, possibly 8 years, yet God is still in control. We may have new laws passed, laws that may effect us (either in a positive or negative light), yet God is still in control. Things will change, that's for sure, and we may be scared, but yet, God is STILL in control.

This seems to be coming up in my life a lot recently. I am a very controlling person sometimes. I want things to go my way, and when they don't, I may throw a temper tantrum or two (or three... four?). However, God has been teaching me that I can't control everything, and everything isn't gonna go my way. And when things don't turn out as I expect, that I need to TRUST HIM. Two simple words that are so hard to do sometimes. That is a whole discussion for a different post. 

Well this post is long enough already. Happy early Thanksgiving by the way! Have fun with your families, eat some pumpkin pie, and be sure to thank God for everything He has blessed you with, even if you can't see right now the good in it :)

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go" - Joshua 1:9

I guess I should introduce myself!

SO!, hello all and welcome to my blog. I have a few blogger friends (see their blogs on the right) that suggested I try this, so here I am. I decided since this is my first post I will enlighten you on some interesting (interesting? does that sound vain?) facts about myself. I'll shoot for 10 facts and we'll see what we get ;)

~1. My name is Isaac and this is my first attempt at blogging so bear with me

~2. I'm homeschooled, and love it. Wouldn't want it any other way.

~3. I'm a Christian and wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for my faith.

~4. I am a member of a Christian mime group, where we silently act to Christian songs in order to share the gospel. We meet weekly to have fellowship, practice, do a bible study, and engage in discipleship.

~5. I raise Holland Lop rabbits and I'm a member of ARBA (American Rabbit Breeders Association).

~6. Raising and learning about animals and agriculture is one of my passions. I've been working with animals since 2008. I've owned quail, chickens, and rabbits.

~7. My favorite book series is the Percy Jackson series, with the Heroes of Olympus coming in at a close second.

~8. My favorite sports are soccer and ultimate frisbee (yes! It is a sport!). I also really enjoy playing capture the flag.

~9. I actually really like school, my favorite subjects being geography and science.

~10. I currently run a farm, Shady Branch Farm (check out our Facebook page) and have high hopes for it. We may or may not be getting sheep soon ;)

~11. (I'll include eleven for good measure) I can speak a little bit of German, sometimes I like it more than English...

Alrighty then this is probably longer of a post than I'll usually be posting, but it's about me so it was worthwhile (urgh... being vain again). Signing off for now!

Auf Wiedersehen! (German for goodbye)