A Checklist Relationship

1 Thessalonions 5:16-18: Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstance; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 

We don't allot twenty or thirty minutes a piece to each of our friends do we? We don't call them up every day (maybe less than that) and blab to them for 45 minutes exactly and then promptly hang up the phone, not even giving them time to speak. 

Just look at your earthly relationships. None of them are cookie-cutter, perfectly-timed-out relationships. They don't have schedules (at least to a tee). They aren't portioned out minute by minute. They're just wholesome relationships. The kind that whenever a friend or family member is around or needs you, you're there for them. You talk to them, spend time with them, do favors for them, etc. And they do the same for you.

Now I realize not every relationship is this nice, but in general, looking at how you act with your friends, family, close peers --the people you care about on earth-- saying your time together is meticulously planned out every time is inaccurate. 

So then, if we don't do this in our earthly relationships... Why do we form this "Checklist Relationship" with our God? Our Heavenly Father, the one who created us in his image.

We sit down every morning, read an allotted amount of chapters in the Bible, then pray for, oh let's say 30 minutes. Phew! You're done! No need to think about God for the rest of the day. Wow I'm such a good Christian! *checks "read devotions" off the to-do list and goes on*

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to condemn anyone here. I am just as guilty of doing this as anybody. I am trying to read through the Bible in a year, and I'm constantly having to remind myself: "Isaac, this isn't just a book to read through in a year. It's not just a goal. This book is practically a personal letter, written for you, from God. Stop rushing it. Calm yourself, and try to soak it in." 

I also realize that every single minute of every single day can't be spent in devotions, prayer, and singing praises. It's not humanly possible. But every time you have the chance, say a little prayer in your head or hum a praise song. And yes, having a devotion time every day is so important, just don't turn it into a checklist thing. Try to learn something every time you open the Bible, or more accurately, ask God to help you understand more every time you read his word. 

As some of you know, I've been planting a garden this year. It has been a lot of work, but it has also given me a lot of time by myself. And instead of defiling that alone time that I so desperately crave, I've been trying to use it to engage in my relationship with Him. Praying, singing to myself, meditating on a passage I read recently. See, it doesn't have to be this full-out, hands and knees on the ground worship time. Just spending time with Him, learning more about Him, talking to Him and letting Him speak to you. 

I'm not trying to preach to you. If you've found a way to build your relationship with Christ then by all means do that! But I will say, those times when you're alone (working in the garden, driving down the road, before you go to sleep and after you wake up, those quiet hours in the morning with your coffee) are some of the best times to learn more about Him and about yourself.

I feel like I need to sum up my babbling after every post so here it is: Don't fall into the rut of checking Christ off of your to-do list. Crave a strong, full relationship with Him, and spend as much time as you can praying and meditating. Form that wholesome bond with Christ, not a checklist relationship. 

~Isaac

Anxiety.

"Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you" ~ 1 Peter 5:7 NIV

A verse that has helped me through some... difficult (for lack of a better word) times. You see, nervousness is a natural human feeling. It's our instinct to feel nervous when we're doing something that could be a danger. It also seems to give us an edge while on stage or doing a test. Don't ask me how, but it does.

Now, take that slight nervousness, magnify it by what seems like a trillion, and voila you have anxiety. This word seems to be used so much nowadays that I don't think people scope how serious it really is.

When I was younger I was always a pretty nervous kid. Slight things would tip me off and I would box myself in. Try not to worry. Freak out on the inside. And not show a thing on the outside. I remember one time, there was this pet expo (and as you already are probably aware, I love animals) in a nearby city that I begged and begged to go to. I was able to go but after being there a while, I desperately wanted to go home. I couldn't take it. So many people, having to interact with so many of them as well. It freaked me out. This may sound a little dramatic but just hear me out.

Over time this anxiety got worse and worse, and I shoved it deep inside me, didn't let anyone in, and made it a lot harder on myself. And through doing this I learned how to keep a straight face. I never had any full-fledged panic attacks, so keeping stuff hidden was easy.

My heart starts pounding. Mind is racing. Palms go sweaty. I'm looking for anything and everything to get my mind to calm down. Writing. Watching a movie. Working with my animals. I can't sleep, so now I'm exhausted. Every single possible outcome of a situation runs through my head so fast I can barely process them but somehow I have a plan for every single thing that happens. I'll say this, do this, if this goes wrong I'll play it off like I meant to do it that way. Tears rarely well up, because I've trained them not to, but they feel like it. My stomach will start to ache and churn as if the "cute little butterflies" have turned into something trying to claw it's way out. I dread everything, enjoy nothing, and feel desperate to get away. All this happens at once. Inside. No one knows.

If I do show any signs of anxiety, you may catch me biting my nails, chewing the inside of my cheek or picking my lip. Cracking my knuckles, wrists, neck and any other joint I can manage to crack again for the 12th time that day. I'll fidget in my seat, changing positions. Fiddling with something like my hair, clothes, a pen.

But at the end of the day, there's only one way to truly calm down. And that's exactly what Peter was saying in that one short verse up there. Those 11 words are the difference between having another sleepless night and actually getting some rest for a change. The difference between staying at home or going out. The difference between showing people who I truly am inside or placing up another wall, after 15 years of doing so (oh yeah... my birthday was a week and a half ago :P).

Now, I don't mean mumbling to yourself a little "Give me what I want" prayer. I mean truly, and genuinely giving God all you have. Knocking down those walls that you've placed up, built up even to the God who sees all. Casting all your fears, anxieties, troubles, pains, worries, guilts, sorrows, the list goes on, to him! I know that on my own this anxiety disorder will never go away. But with his power it can. That doesn't mean he will, because this may be a trial he wants me to face in this life to bring me closer to him, and I've come to accept that, but since I've given this all to him (and opened up to others about it) it sure has gotten a lot better, and for me, that's proof enough of his power!

~Isaac

A Laugh

  A laugh. Such a silly sounding word. I repeat it over and over again in my head until it doesn't even sound like English. Who decided to put those 5 letters together? And why in the world does the 'gh' make a sound that we have a perfectly good letter for? (Do your job, F!)

  A laugh. Something people associate with fun, good times, their best memories. And for good reason. Laughs accompany us during our best moments. During those adrenaline pumping rides on a roller coaster. When someone from your seriously goofy mime team makes a really bad, yet somewhat hilarious, pun. The times when you and one of your best friends are reliving old memories, and inside jokes. Now that's when you really laugh.

  A laugh. There's so much more to this word though. It brings people together. Makes memories, things you'll remember for a long time. It's something so wonderful that the Lord has given us to be able to bond with others and share just a brief moment where we can all laugh, forget about the hard times, and have some time to release.

  A laugh. If this is such a wonderful ability we all have... then why does it remind me of times that I didn't feel like laughing. Times that everyone else was laughing... so I better, or they'll know how I'm feeling right now. Times when really, all I wanted to do is be alone. Times when someone has actually hurt me, but no I can't show that weak side of me. Times when I try to make people laugh, I try to be the funny one, so they can laugh, and not feel how I do.

  A laugh. See, laughs aren't always genuine. Someone may have a smile plastered on their face, forcing the laughing sound to come out. They may look like the happiest person in the world. Their shoulders dropping up and down, playing the motion of a laugh. "Surely," they think "if I play this part, no one will see me for who I am. See my true feelings. I'll just continue to hide them. With a laugh."

  A laugh. Yes they are a wonderful thing. Something we all cherish. But if something seems up with someone. Talk to them. Don't let that person continue to feel this way. Show them the love of Christ through you. Don't leave them behind.

Care for each other and go have a genuine laugh every now and then, will ya?
~Isaac

Meet My Farm! {Long post plus pics}

I believe that much too often people get too caught up in 'what ifs?' and 'hows?' Now, if you know me personally, you might laugh when I say this. Because I myself am a over-planner, worrier, and focus fairly often on those kinds of questions. While thinking things over, and asking yourself those kinds of questions isn't a bad thing, when you let it dictate your goals and dreams, it isn't right.

First off, I do want to say. If those goals, dreams, wants etc. are interfering with God's plan for you, then it may be time to let it go for a while. I don't know anything much worse than trying to fight against God's will. But if these ideas you're trying to work towards seem to have the "go ahead" from God, I think that's a sure indicator to go for it. As long as it doesn't become an idol in your life. Plus, if you can find a way to create a ministry out of it, that's even better!

You might be wondering why I'm even talking about this in a farm post, but you'd be surprised how much work and effort it takes to get a successful farm up and going, and how many people end their dreams of having a farm because they're too worried about other things. Now, I'll be the first to admit, I have a very small hobby farm, but I have plans to increase greatly in the future. That's where those wants and goals come in. I have to be careful not to let my goals of having a successful farm in my future overrule what God wants me to do in life. So after a rather lengthy explanation of that... let's get on to what I do on the farm. 

I got started officially in 2009, but I've been raising animals since probably around 2007-8. It started with Bobwhite Quail, which we hatched ourselves. Bobwhite's are a native gamebird that are used now for meat, eggs, hobby, sport, and conservation efforts. We don't have any Bobwhites right now, but during the years we did you could find 5 or 6 pens full of quail. We averaged 200-300 quail on the farm at all times. 

In 2009 I started with chickens with the intention of eggs. I've been raising chickens ever since and have had lots come and go. Over the past 8 years I've had Red Sex-Links, Buff Orpingtons, Buff Brahmas, Black Australorps, New Hampshires, Easter Eggers, Golden-Laced Wyandottes, and Bantam Cochins. We also raised meat birds one year, and having fresh homegrown white meat in your freezer is a really great thing! Plus I used to get at least a dozen eggs a day, which was great as well.  I've had the numbers of our chickens fluctuate greatly over the years, but right now have 21.

In 2013 I discovered the world of show rabbits (who knew?) and was immediately hooked. I had some trial and error at the beginning, as all do I guess, but finally landed with some good show rabbits. I'll explain showing rabbits in other posts. I decided on the breed, the Holland Lop, and have been going with them for about three years now. My goals for the Hollands will be breeding to improve the breed, the standard, and showing competitively. My rabbit number has fluctuated also, but right now I have 12.

To finish off this post I'll mention what the goals for the future are. I plan to grow quite a big first-time garden this spring, showing and breeding Hollands will become much much more competitive (we're actually heading to our first national show in Indianapolis this year), and I plan to become NPIP certified soon so I can breed and ship purebred/heritage/rare breeds of chickens. More posts are sure to come about the farm, which by the way, is now called Shady Branch Farm. Check out our website and Facebook. Gotta get that free advert in there haha.

Thanks for taking the time to read this lengthy post! Now here are some pictures for you lovely folks!

Happy New Years!

Hello to all of you! Thanks for returning to my blog once more. It is January 1st, start of a new year, 2017. How exciting! Seeing as to how 2016 went, I pray and hope this year turns out better. Sure, lots of good stuff happened last year, also lots of bad.

Anyways, I hope we can all learn from our mistakes in 2016 and happily say goodbye to the year.

Now I would like to set my attention to this upcoming year. As you know from my introductional post, I mime. I am part of a Christian mime discipleship group, and I love it. I have grown so much but now am at a period with this group that I find particularly hard.

Us older mimes were given an assignment back in October that is to create a mime that tells our testimony. I might make a post about the direction I want to take with this mime, but that's for another time. When I first heard this assignment my stomach just turned to lead and I was legit freaked out. I had no clue what to do. Fast forward to now and I have some planned out... not enough though I'm afraid. This assignment has caused me so much stress for the past two months and I don't even know why... well, I didn't know why until today.

For the past week or two I had come to the conclusion that I didn't want to do this and that I just wouldn't do it. If it got me kicked off the team so be it (yes, that is how much I dislike this assignment) Then, our pastor preached a sermon today that went right along with what I've been thinking about and dealing with recently (isn't it funny how God works that way?). His sermon was basically about how if God is in a church, it cannot be dead. If He is working in that church then He has plans for it. Same with us Christians.

God always has a plan for us and sometimes, we're not going to like it, especially if we're stubborn, which I am. I realized today that I haven't been letting God lead me in this project and because of it, let my anxiety and stubbornness get in the way.

This post is getting too long, so let me sum up all of this rambling. My goal for these next few months is to let God take control and help me plan this mime. If it makes me uncomfortable or nervous or embarrassed so be it. I've been stubborn for much too long about giving this part of my life to Him and what better time to start besides now?

Happy New Years, you guys!